HEAL THYSELF
        
              "Counselors are merely guests in a person's life," wrote
        Jorge Sanchez, a prominent therapist I know.  How important a
        counselor becomes in a person's life depends upon the
        individual's personal needs and whether he/she invites the
        therapist in.
              Many people who need some guidance and support often resist
        it.  We've all known an individual who, because of his or her
        excessive alcohol or some other drug, needed external
        intervention to assist them in getting back on the path toward
        healthy living.
              Yet these individuals often refuse intervention.  Those who
        are healthy often cannot understand this.  If the individual's
        car needed repaired, they would seek out a competent mechanic and
        get it fixed.  If their lungs filled with pneumonia, they would
        go to a physician.  If a tooth ached, off to the dentist they
        would go.  But to get into therapy, they deny their personal
        need.
              Many individuals who need external supports are chemically
        dependent individuals.  People who are faced with the trials of
        daily living sometimes need guidance and support.
              When we get "stuck" in life; when problems surface which are
        unique and sometimes overwhelming and we are in a quandary as to
        what to do, to whom do we go?
              Many of us, and especially those who work with people in the
        human services field, consider going to others for guidance and
        support as a sign of weakness.  We believe we should know how to
        "heal thyself."
              To heal thyself, one must begin first to begin first to
        confront the "Big Ten Life Questions."  What are they?  Let me
        elaborate on the first one.
              How many times in your life have you asked yourself, who am
        I?  You and I cannot effectively define ourselves by asking
        others to do it for us.  This is our primary life's work.
              As you and I grow, age, and mature, we evolve from one or
        more characters that combine together to form what we label "Me."
              Too often we permit others to define us.  "What do you do
        for a living?"  How many times have you been asked this question? 
        We tell people we do this or that.  Over time, we become what we
        do.
              However, what we do is not who we are.  How many of you work
        at some endeavor day in and out, and yet know you possess a
        separate reality from what you do "for money?"
              This is the crux of my argument.  You and I are separate
        from what we "do for money."  When we permit others to only
        define us by what we do, we often suffer from an identity crisis.
              I believe this is one of the dilemmas facing the chemically
        dependent individual.  From my experience, most individuals
        struggling with an addiction are not sure who they are.  Using
        chemicals aids them in defining themselves in a rather costly
        way.  The outcome of their behavior often leads to physical,
        mental, and emotional pain for the individual and for the family.
              Imagine for a moment that you are more than what you do. 
        How would you describe yourself to others?
              Ah, this is the rub!  We often avoid this primary life task
        as if to do so might pigeonhole us.  I contend that unless we
        undertake this inquiry, we are susceptible to others' defining
        us.  Plato wrote, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
              Unless we learn to describe who we are separate from what we
        do for money, we permit others to do it for us via our work
        activity.  
              So it's time to take the plunge.  For a moment, discount
        what you do to "make money."  
              Ask yourself, who am I?  Ponder it for a moment.  In fact,
        take a day off from work just to do it.  Sit still, turn off the
        television and the radio, the stereo, the walkman, and without
        any paper or pen, meditate for as long as necessary on this
        question.
              This may take the entire day, and so be it.  Eat and drink
        when necessary, but don't let these activities impede your
        efforts.  Measure your success in this endeavor in your own
        terms.
              What you discover may surprise you.  Given that we are "too
        much with the world, late and soon," you and I may find that the
        world is much less important after your reverie than before.
              Almost all therapy is nothing more than gaining insight into
        "who I am."  Once this is gained, you and I can now choose to
        become more than we are at the present time.  We can become more
        whole, more accepting of ourselves, and ultimately, more
        accepting of others.  
              When we do this, you and I are saved from the social
        polarity that results from any definition of ourselves which
        differs from how others see us.  
              We become special to ourselves.  We don't need the opinion
        of others to validate our own sense of self-worth.  We "heal"
        ourselves in the process by proclaiming our congruence as human
        beings that are truly unique in the world, but also are fully
        aware of our own homogeneity as homo sapiens.
              Your mission, my mission, and the mission of all people we
        meet throughout our lives is to encourage each other to "heal
        ourselves" through self-discovery.  
              Karas (Grace) and Shalom (Peace) in undertaking this new
        journey in your life.